Financial Infidelity: How to Have the Difficult Money Talks in Your Relationship
By Discussing money can be a delicate issue, even when it is with your partner.[0] Recently, you and your partner have been facing the same money-related problems and you are uncertain of how to resolve them.[1] But you are far from alone on this issue. The GOBankingRates survey revealed that 19% of Americans aged 18 and above stated they sometimes quarrel with their partner over financial issues, while 13% stated they often have such arguments.[2]
These points of view may be causing secret-keeping.[3] 21% of people have confessed to concealing purchases from their significant other; this percentage increases to 28% among those aged 45-54.[4] 20% of people suspect that their partner is being untruthful about their finances, which corresponds to the same figure.[4] Thirteen percent of people have debt that they are not disclosing to their partners.[3]
Money issues and tensions are widely known to be major sources of conflict in relationships and leads to divorce.[5] Financial infidelity is a real issue, and it can cause deep resentments in a relationship if it is not addressed. Consider a partner who hides debt or isn’t honest about the extent of their assets.[6] When a couple is attempting to save up for a large purchase such as a down payment on a house, one partner's reluctance to communicate can impede the progress of their goal and adversely impact the other partner's finances.[6] Money experts refer to these types of habits as “financial infidelity.”[6]
What is the best way to begin a potentially difficult conversation?[2] No matter what stage of the relationship you are in, these are some tips to help you approach “money talk”.[2] In order to start the often “uncomfortable” conversations around money, young couples should be open and candid regarding their financial situation, objectives, attitude, and plans for the future.[7] Engaging in dialogue around finances can be advantageous in that it facilitates the process of formulating sound decisions and creating a strategy for achieving both parties' financial objectives with little to no modifications to their respective lifestyles or ambitions.[7]
Discussing finances early on in a relationship is vital, as failing to do so can lead to money becoming a source of tension and potentially cause serious damage. It is important to be upfront and honest about financial matters, as this can prevent any issues arising later on.[0] These conversations can be hard to have, but it’s important to make sure both parties are on the same page about money and that both parties feel respected and heard.[8]
One way to tackle the problem is to establish a joint account.
0. “Love shouldn't send money sense flying out the window” Moneyweb, 13 Feb. 2023, https://www.moneyweb.co.za/mymoney/moneyweb-personal-finance/love-shouldnt-send-money-sense-flying-out-the-window/
1. “The Majority of Couples Admit To Arguing About Money: Here Are 5 Of the Most Common Disagreements” AOL, 6 Feb. 2023, https://www.aol.com/finance/majority-couples-admit-arguing-money-120045534.html
2. “Most couples are ‘financially incompatible,' survey finds. Having a money talk could help — no matter how long you've been together” CNBC, 14 Feb. 2023, https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/14/most-couples-financially-incompatible-having-a-money-talk-could-help.html
3. “We Don't Talk About Money – Couples Admit Cash Comes Between Them in New Survey” Benzinga, 7 Feb. 2023, https://www.benzinga.com/pressreleases/23/02/n30761892/we-dont-talk-about-money-couples-admit-cash-comes-between-them-in-new-survey
4. “Fighting With Your Partner About Money: 5 Ways to Lower the Tension” News-Daily.com, 7 Feb. 2023, https://www.news-daily.com/arena/fighting-with-your-partner-about-money-5-ways-to-lower-the-tension/article_f3f8f39b-6992-596d-8ac0-7621bf77e732.html
5. “Couples' 14 Biggest Financial Fights and How to Resolve Them: Advisors' Advice” ThinkAdvisor, 14 Feb. 2023, https://www.thinkadvisor.com/2023/02/14/14-big-money-fights-couples-have-and-how-to-resolve-them-advisors-advice/
6. “Valentine's Day: These are the top financial red flags in a romantic partner” CBS News, 14 Feb. 2023, https://www.cbsnews.com/news/valentines-day-2023-financial-red-flags-in-a-romantic-partner
7. “5 Steps For Young Couples To Begin Building A Strong Financial Life Together This Valentine's Day” Indiatimes.com, 14 Feb. 2023, https://www.indiatimes.com/worth/news/financial-tips-for-young-couples-on-valentines-day-593079.html
8. “Experts: How To Tackle Tough Money Conflicts as a Couple” Nasdaq, 7 Feb. 2023, https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/experts:-how-to-tackle-tough-money-conflicts-as-a-couple
