How to Talk About Money With Your Partner and Avert Financial Conflicts

Couples often have disputes regarding money. The mere mention of money can cause a great deal of anxiety, particularly in light of elevated expenses and increasing interest rates. Conversations about saving, spending, or even avoiding the topic altogether can be daunting.^[0] Discussing money can be a sensitive topic, even with one's partner. Fortunately, you are far from alone on this issue as money is a common source of arguments between couples. A GOBankingRates survey revealed that 19% of those 18 and older in America occasionally have disagreements with their partner over money-related issues, while around 13% frequently have such arguments.

Before this becomes an even larger concern, it is vital to come to an agreement that satisfies both parties.^[1] Jake Hill, CEO of DebtHammer, noted that money is often a source of conflict between couples, particularly when it comes to setting a budget and allocating resources. Disagreements can frequently arise from differing ideas or perspectives on what is essential and needs to be funded.^[2]

Money conflicts among couples are often caused by differences in spending habits, values around money and expectations related to financial support or contributions, according to Andy Kalmon, CEO of the personal finance site Benny.^[2] He suggests couples strive to create a plan that reflects their shared goals while also providing space for individual needs and preferences. It is important that they also have open and honest conversations about money in order to build a strong bond and avoid any further disagreements.

Couples from Generation Z and millennials may be more likely to have disagreements about money than older couples. Couples from the Millennial generation may have more open conversations about money than those from the Baby Boomer generation. But if you’ve just coupled, what’s that icebreaker?^[3] Discussing finances with your significant other can feel awkward initially, as most of us were not raised to engage in such conversations.^[4] However, talking about finances with your romantic partner or spouse can be tough — especially when you don't understand or know much about how they think about money.^[2]

Experts suggest couples create a budget and set joint financial goals.^[5] They should also be aware of any financial red flags in their partner, such as hiding debt or not being honest about the extent of their assets.^[6] Additionally, consider celebrating Valentine’s Day with a conversation about finances. It may not be romantic, but it can build trust and help you work toward common goals.

0. “Top 3 money problems for couples — and how to fix them” The Province, 13 Feb. 2023, https://theprovince.com/opinion/columnists/top-3-money-problems-couples-fix

1. “The Majority of Couples Admit To Arguing About Money: Here Are 5 Of the Most Common Disagreements” AOL, 6 Feb. 2023, https://www.aol.com/finance/majority-couples-admit-arguing-money-120045534.html

2. “Experts: How To Tackle Tough Money Conflicts as a Couple” AOL, 7 Feb. 2023, https://www.aol.com/finance/experts-tackle-tough-money-conflicts-130021603.html

3. “Most couples are ‘financially incompatible,' survey finds. Having a money talk could help — no matter how long you've been together” CNBC, 14 Feb. 2023, https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/14/most-couples-financially-incompatible-having-a-money-talk-could-help.html

4. “5 steps to stop feuding financially with your partner” Financial Post, 10 Feb. 2023, https://financialpost.com/personal-finance/family-finance/5-steps-stop-feuding-financially-partner

5. “5 ways you can improve your relationship with money” IOL, 7 Feb. 2023, https://www.iol.co.za/personal-finance/my-money/5-ways-you-can-improve-your-relationship-with-money-07861aaf-af09-4720-a715-a645e9230e37

6. “Valentine's Day: These are the top financial red flags in a romantic partner” CBS News, 7 Feb. 2023, https://www.cbsnews.com/news/valentines-day-2023-financial-red-flags-in-a-romantic-partner